How David Archuleta’s religious mom became an LGBTQ+ ally

The ‘American Idol’ alumnus recalls his mom saying, ‘I don’t want to be somewhere where my children don’t feel loved and welcomed. And if you’re going to hell, then we’re all going to hell with you.’

MANILA, Philippines – When David Archuleta came out as queer in 2021, his mother, who is religious, was initially skeptical.

During his return to Rappler’s Live Jam stage on Friday, September 13, the American pop star said that when he broke the news, his mom, Lupe Bartholomew, insisted that it was God’s plan for him to marry a woman and start his own family.

“I don’t need you to accept what I’m doing, I just need you to respect that I’m making the best decision for me right now,” Archuleta remembered telling her.  

Feeling a disconnect between his sexuality and his faith, Archuleta left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 2022 without informing his mother. But months later, he was shocked to find out that Bartholomew had done the same.

The singer recalled his mother saying: “I don’t want to be somewhere where my children don’t feel loved and welcomed. And if you’re going to hell, then we’re all going to hell with you.”

This change of heart inspired his single called “Hell Together,” which was released on streaming platforms back in March. 

In a “Mormon Stories” episode posted in September 2023, Bartholomew shared that there were nights where she “cried tears of pain” when she saw how her son struggled as a queer person trying to remain religious.

“I don’t think I ever seen an LGBTQ plus sitting at church. If they were sitting there, they were probably hiding,” she said. “That’s when I thought, God is not here, because God is love. There’s no way he’s just saying, ‘Yep, you belong here,’ and ‘No, you don’t belong here.’” 

Latter-day Saints and same-sex attraction

Archuleta said that shortly after coming out, he would still join his mother at church until it started to become a painful experience.

“A lot of Mormons still showed their love and support for me, but in the end, the organization of the church did not accept queer people,” he told Rappler. “I just felt like that wasn’t right and something didn’t feel good about it.”

He used to be an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He even took a two-year break from his music career to serve as a missionary and released several worship songs when he returned.

In its website, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said that “same-sex attraction is a sensitive issue that requires kindness, compassion and understanding.” It also cited a policy which states that “if members feel same-sex attraction and are striving to live the law of chastity, leaders support and encourage them in their resolve.” 

Archuleta said that he had fasted, prayed, and went to church as much as he could in hopes of removing his attraction to men — all at the expense of his mental health. He only found peace when he began to accept himself as a queer person.

Unfortunately, many churches are not safe spaces for people with different sexualities or gender identities. In the United States, the singer’s home , 1 in 3 adults have experienced religious trauma, according to a 2023 study.

“[Churches] always say, ‘You come as you are,’ but don’t expect to stay who you are because they expect you to change and be like everyone else,” Archuleta said. 

The “American Idol” alumnus is in the Philippines for a concert on Saturday, September 14, at the New Frontier Theater in Quezon City. 

How can religious groups show kindness to people in the LGBTQ+ community? Let’s talk about it in the faith chat room of the Rappler Communities app.

– Rappler.com