This is AI generated summarization, which may have errors. For context, always refer to the full article.
Talking about your dating expectations and boundaries doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation
Talking about sexual wellness can be, well, pretty unsexy. When you’re dating someone new, sometimes the default is to have your best foot forward and stay away from talking about your needs, but that’s not how true connections are formed.
That’s what Bumble and Dr. Rica Cruz, a certified sexologist, want to address. During Sexual Health Awareness Month in September, they joined forces to empower women to have open conversations about sexual health and own their intimacy. Bumble has long been known as the dating app that puts women in control of starting conversations – just earlier this year, the app gave women even more choice in how they connect with the launch of Opening Moves. The new feature gives women the option to set a question that their matches can respond to, creating a new way to engage with connections while keeping them in control.
According to a Bumble survey*, 53% of their community agrees it’s important to talk about sexual wants and needs early on in a relationship. Meanwhile, 42% are approaching sex, intimacy, and dating in a more exploratory way, showing a cultural shift toward openness.
Talking about your sex life can be hard to initiate, but sexologist Dr. Rica Cruz shared that the best time to talk about it could be as early as the first date. After all, first dates give your partners a gauge of who you are, your interests, and what you’re looking for.
“This can be a great chance to kick off clear communication and set the right expectations from the start,” she said. “Chatting about this early can really help you if you’re compatible on an important aspect of the relationship, all while keeping things light before emotions get deeper.”
Intimacy in all aspects
Intimacy goes just beyond the physical. Aside from talking about sexual wellness as being a part of who you are, it’s also important in forming healthy relationships.
In today’s dating scene, emotional connection often takes precedence. Bumble’s survey also showed that 44% of Filipino singles believe emotional intimacy is now more important than sex, and 78% of women say understanding both emotional and physical intimacy is key when choosing a partner.
Bumble’s data also reveals that 22% of women are comfortable initiating physical intimacy. Not sure where to start exactly? Your Bumble profile could use conversation-starter worthy Opening Moves to implicitly (or explicitly) initiate discussions on intimacy and relationships, such as “What are your thoughts around Intimacy?” It’s best to know each other’s intentions and nature from the get-go!
Make clear-cut boundaries
Respecting boundaries is just as important as discussing desires. “If you’re uncomfortable with a sexual topic, clearly communicating your boundaries is essential,” said Dr. Rica. “Let your partner know you’re not ready for that conversation yet. If they respect that, it’s a good sign. If not, it could be a red flag.”
Ultimately, Filipinos are becoming more open about sexuality, but there’s still progress to be made. Younger generations are leading the charge, but traditional values remain rooted in Filipino society. As much as you yourself may be comfortable talking about sex, Dr. Rica still stresses the importance of a sensitive approach to talking about it.
“It’s about blending modern openness with respect for traditions. Discussions around sex should consider Filipino family values and religious perspectives,” she said.
To have an open and honest conversation about your expectations, you have to do it in a safe space too, even before you start dating. Bumble is here to provide that space, helping you connect with new people safely. Earlier this year, Bumble launched the Deception Detector™, an AI-powered safety feature that helps identify spam, scam, and fake profiles–in addition to the updated Community Guidelines and the Safety & Wellbeing Centre that keeps users informed of safety features and tools. Check it out today on the App Store or Google Play.
Ultimately, whether you’re taking your first step in navigating sexual wellness or want to be more open about it in your relationships, it’s best to remember that talking about your wants shouldn’t be awkward, but a necessity. – Rappler.com
*Bumble’s survey was conducted from October 12 to November 1, 2022, with a sample of 14,300 Bumble users worldwide, including the Philippines.
