Rappler’s Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr. Margarita Holmes.
Jeremy has a master’s degree in law from Oxford University. A banker of 37 years who worked in three continents, he has been training with Dr. Holmes for the last 10 years as co-lecturer and, occasionally, as co-therapist, especially with clients whose financial concerns intrude into their daily lives.
Together, they have written two books: Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality and Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.
Dear Dr. Holmes and Mr. Baer,
I graduated with a AB in Secondary Education, major in Filipino three years ago. Educated to teach high school students, I am currently handling kindergarten in a private school due to lack of opportunities. I even thought it would be easier since they’re kids, but teaching them to read and shaping their behavior was far from easy.
I am overworked. I arrive in school at 6 am and leave at 6 pm. I can’t use my vacation leaves since no other teacher wants to substitute for me in kindergarten. My friends travel occasionally. I am envious that I cannot join them since I can’t just leave whenever I want to.
I recently entered graduate school; hopefully for better opportunities. I regret it. I’ve already spent so much time and money to be here. Is it bad that I’m thinking about shifting to a different career? Is it too late to do so? I want to enjoy my life also, but being a teacher is taking away my work-life balance.
The reality of being a teacher is too sad. When our students fail, they blame us. When we are unable to discipline our students, they blame us. When we try disciplining, we get judged for it. When we get home, we have to prepare the lesson for the next day, reply to parents’ concerns, and more. There’s really no day off.
Can you tell me what I can look forward to as a teacher? Like, what are the pros or benefits of being a teacher? This is so that I can have the motivation to pursue this career path. Thank you so much.
Burnt Out Teacher
Dear Burnt Out Teacher (BOT),
I have never taught and it is several decades since my children were in school (in the UK) but my perception then was that most schools were primarily run for the benefit of teachers, with generous holidays, plenty of days off for training etc. It seemed that the tradeoff for this was bad pay and whether the students actually learned anything was almost irrelevant.
Your story however suggests a rather different scenario and I wonder whether things have changed or you are simply suffering the problems that tend to afflict those lowest on any organization’s totem pole, i.e. everybody else’s needs are met before yours by virtue of seniority.
You seem to have two issues: a) is teaching really your profession of choice? and b) is there anything you can do to improve your current work conditions?
You need to identify why you are so disappointed by the reality of teaching. For example, is it because you had unrealistic expectations from the start, is it because it simply isn’t turning out to be the vocation you anticipated or is it just that if you had better working conditions you would be happy to continue?
On the subject of working conditions, are you really at the beck and call of the school administrators?
Who teaches when you are on vacation is certainly not your responsibility but theirs, as is ensuring you do not work excessive hours. If the answer here is not clear, one way to test the water is to take some days as sick leave and see what happens. Will the little darlings in your class go untaught or will solutions which previously were unavailable suddenly and “miraculously” be found? The outcome could radically alter how you view your future.
As for a career change, perhaps you should adopt a different departure spot. At your age, do you really want to mortgage your future to a profession that you have doubts about when you could pursue alternatives that could be so much more rewarding? And always remember that teaching is something you can return to if you so wish.
All the best,
JAFBaer
Dear BOT:
Thank you very much from your letter. It was heartfelt, sincere, and I am fairly sure I know where you’re coming from.
Allow me to answer your questions as I share 3 points that I think vital about your dilemma.
Point #1
Your question: Is it too late to (shift to another career)?
Most realistic: You will not get the job of your dreams. And if you don’t, that is okay. I want to spend more time on points 2 and 3, so I will just refer you to this piece from The Guardian.
And should you or anyone else want more, please write to us again.
If you can afford to, don’t settle for second best. HOWEVER, if you need a job, then choose one that is closest to what you want — which is exactly what you did. And do all you can to get the job you want; it’s easier to find another when you are already in the field.
Point #2
Your question: Is it bad that I’m thinking about shifting to a different career?
Absolutely not! In fact, it is very wise of you to do so and the time is now, when it is easier for you to change careers.
One thing you might think of before you leave teaching all together though: It is possible you love teaching but you don’t love the circumstances under which you are teaching:
- The specific institution does not support its teachers; and
- You landed a job which made you teach four- to six-year-old kids. That is not the age group you love and were trained for. Each age needs a particular skill set and different teachers are excellent (and love) teaching kids at different ages.
It may not be that you are disappointed in the teaching profession, but that your current teaching job is not a good fit.
Take a break, explore other jobs, see where you fit in.
Point #3
Your question: Can you tell me what I can look forward to as a teacher? Like, what are the pros or benefits of being a teacher
Here is an anecdote that will explain more clearly my answer to your question:
A man came upon a construction site where three people were working. He asked the first, “What are you doing?” and the man replied: “I am laying bricks.” He asked the second, “What are you doing?” and the man replied: “I am building a wall.” As he approached the third, he heard him humming a tune as he worked, and asked, “What are you doing?” The man stood, looked up at the sky, and smiled, “I am building a cathedral!”
To me, teaching is like building a cathedral, but to you it may just be “meh.” And that is fine! If we all loved the same job, the world would be so boring! It doesn’t have to be a job that pays poorly; i.e., you don’t have to be considered a hero, like OFWs are made bola to by the government. It doesn’t have to be recognized as a job like teachers, poets, and writers that give you tons of psychic rewards because they sure as hell have no financial ones.
Take for example, a realtor that snobs eschew as they earn a lot of money. A realtor can think:
- I earn a good living.
- I sell houses so people can get on the property ladder.
- I help people find their dream homes (to raise wonderful children and give them cherished memories).
I love teaching because I help students become better psychologists who can help our country prosper. Find your cathedral, dearest BOT (and it could well be teaching under better circumstances) and not only will you be proud of what you do, you can wake up most mornings, looking forward to all it has to offer.
MY very best wishes,
MG Holmes
– Rappler.com
Please send any comments, questions, or requests for advice to [email protected].
